Day 1: Winter Solstice

I decided to begin on the winter solstice, December 21, 2024. I am a New Year's baby and had originally planned to begin on my 35th birthday, but I decided against it because January 1st is on a Wednesday this upcoming year. I prefer to begin on the sabbath, a Saturday, the shortest day of the year. 

I managed to awake before my alarm clock rang, just a few minutes before 7 a.m. I stealthily donned my matching burgundy yoga pants and long-sleeved top. I slathered on some Swagger deodorant. I grabbed my rolled-up yoga rug and headed out the door.

Along the way, I listened to Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project audiobook on Libby in the car. I have listened to it once before, but I am fond of Gretchen Rubin.

When I arrived, I discovered the two $10 gift certificates I had been harboring in my wallet had both already been swiped. I paid full price, $16, for an hour-long Ashtanga Half Primary series class with a young guy named William. 

Though I was originally introduced to Ashtanga Yoga in the summer of 2016, I have practiced the primary series sporadically, usually getting caught at Marichyasana D. 

This time, though it had been a while since I had practiced, the series came back to me. Even the closing sequence came to me almost effortlessly, as though I had managed to store it in my muscle memory. 

I held the chant card in between my thumbs and index fingers as we took a few deep breaths together, then chanted Om and the opening mantra. The translation of the Sanskrit is curious. It included something about a "jungle physician" and bowing at the gurus' lotus feet. Next time, I'll have to take a photo of the chant card and spend some time deciphering it. 

After the opening mantra, we performed Surya Namaskar A five times. We only practiced Surya Namaskar B three times, which I thought was surprising. Traditionally, both Surya Namaskar sequences, or Sun Salutations, are performed five times each. I was thankful for the shorter version, though, because Surya Namaskar B is more strenuous than A. Each movement happens on one inhale or exhale, a true Vinyasa.

After Surya Namaskar B, we began the standing sequence. My hamstrings and sacrum were a bit tight from my lack of practice. Over the course of the hour, though, my muscles began to release a little and I caught a glimpse of my old flexibility. 

My strength was more noticeably wanting as I struggled to maintain proper form by the fifth Chaturanga Dandasana. This pose is like a push-up, and my arms began to rely more on propping my torso on my elbows rather than using my triceps. 

My strength was lacking in my core as well as the teacher instructed me to attempt Sirsasana, or Headstand Pose. On my own, I balanced on my head with my knees curled into a little ball like an inverted Child's Pose. The teacher, though, asked me to kick up. I did, but fell on him twice because I went a little past the balance point. To keep a headstand controlled, one has to pike and engage the core muscles. Perhaps it is my modern dance training, but I tend to move with the least effort possible. If you can find the balance point in which you are stacked, inverted, in alignment; you can balance almost effortlessly. Unfortunately, it is quite easy to overshoot and end up summersaulting onto your neighbor.

Nonetheless, my Becoming project is off to a good start. I wanted to begin with spirituality, and I made my way back to Ashtanga Yoga. In my mind, I fancy myself to be a true Ashtangi, waking before dawn, practicing six days a week. In reality, that was my first real Ashtanga practice in over a year. 

Deep breaths. My Becoming project is all about slowly but surely closing the gap between who I wish I were and who I actually am. I'm proud of you, kid. You showed up.